Then, out of the blue, after not speaking for about 2 years, he text messaged me telling me he was sorry and that he realized he wasn't a good person to me. That was definitely not the text message I was expecting to see. I called him. We talked for a while, caught up, etc. We basically decided we were going to be friends...I think we decided that. Although maybe not. Perhaps he just wanted to send me that text and that be the end. Not really sure.
Anyhow, a couple of weeks ago we decided to meet up at a bar. We had drinks, many drinks (ya, I know, bad idea) and before I knew it, it was late. I gave him a ride home because he rode his bike. I went upstairs...I think to watch a movie. Yes, as I write this all down I see that this was a bad idea but what can I say, I was drunk.
We hung out, he made us sandwiches, we watched a movie, and then he asked, "Do you wanna stay here tonight?" For a brief moment, I thought, "I should go home." But between the alcohol and it just feeling nice to have some intimacy with a man, I stayed.
That's the other odd thing. I hadn't spent any time with him in over 2 years. I'm not sure why it felt intimate but it did. Again, maybe the alcohol.
So needless to say, immediately after getting into bed, hands started to wander. We didn't have sex but truth be told, if he had been a bit more forceful (I love it when men get aggressive), I probably would have.
Since then, I feel like the friendship is a little strained. We've never addressed what happened and honestly, I was hoping we wouldn't have to. I really do want us to be friends. I care about him a great deal. I don't think making out once should be the breaking point of a friendship. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. I dunno.
But I will say this, if he and I do maintain a friendship which I hope we do, no more going to the other persons house in a drunken state. Because damn! I really wanted to have sex with him.
Friends aren't supposed to have sex! Right?
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