I went out with HWSRN on Sunday night. Actually, I went over to his house. He made me dinner. Very sweet, but all I kept thinking about is I'd rather be out with my friends. After dinner, we chilled on the sofa, talked and listened to music. Again, very nice. Then we made out...a lot. The boy does have certain oral gifts. Did I say we made out a lot! Like several hours. That was nice too.
But if pressed to be honest, at the beginning I was totally thinking about Mr. Callous. That's most definitely a sign that I'm not into HWSRN. Another sign that I'm not into him is that it annoys me that he wants to see me every few days. According to my friends, that's what men do when they like you. Maybe I'm just not aware of such things since I always dated dysfunctional men but it just plain annoys me.
I think one of the reasons dating is awkward for me is because I've never been the girl that needs to have a man around to validate her existence. I like having a man around but it's not necessary. So unless I really like you, I just assume be out with my friends.
I can tell he wants more from me then I'm willing to give and the truth of the matter is that I'm not even into him enough to be selfish and want to pretend so as to keep him around. I'd rather not lead him on and cut it now then keep going and hurt his feelings.
I don't think I've been in this position before. I've ended it with assholes but never with nice guys. Well, except this one guy in high school but high school doesn't count.
Oh...wait...just remembered...he's doing me a favor for my boss’s wife...damn. Maybe I'll hold off a little longer. Damn! The dilemmas of life!
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