Lately, I've been thinking about what it means to have "good sex." Don't get me wrong, mechanically, I know what I like but I've been pondering what it is that makes things really hot between two people. Until recently, I was involved with two men. With one man, the sex was incredible. With the other man, ehh...it's aiight. Of course, things have ceased with good sex guy and I'm left with the other.
While I don't want to stop seeing him, the chemistry is just not there. I wouldn't say the sex is bad, it's...blah. Plus, being involved with him, I see more and more that (as my boss put it) I'm "set in my ways." He wants to cuddle and I just want my space. He wants to talk after sex, I want to sleep. I would be completely and totally happy if after sex he would get up, get dressed and go home. Perhaps at a certain age, you become inflexible and you no longer require the same sort of stroking of your emotional ego. Perhaps I'm just not into him. I feel like the man in this situation and I question why I continue it.
I see that I've become socially lazy since my accident (I broke both ankles in January). I've lost the desire to go out with friends, to go for drinks, to go to concerts and yes, to meet new men. In reality, all I want to do is go home...and shop. I control the shopping urge but the inclination never dissipates. Another facet as to why I continue on with mundane sex guy is because of the fact that I'm not currently seeing anyone else. In other words, I don't want to completely cut off my supply. Therein lies the problem. I'd like to start dating more men again (ipso facto have better sex) but don't want to go out or do anything to meet them.
It's kind of funny, good sex guy wouldn't kiss me and it annoyed the living hell out of me. With mundane sex guy, I literally start to laugh during sex because I catch myself thinking, "OMG, stop kissing me. I feel like I'm being smothered and can't breathe!"
Bottom line, it's time for me to start going out again. I know this and, god help me, somehow I need to make myself do it.
About Me
- Serial Casual Dater
- I'm just your average 35 year old woman. I'm attractive, smart, funny, strong, driven, sincere, educated, well traveled, independent, a freak in bed (you know I had to include that), etc. I’m the girl that gets asked, “Why are you still single?” And really, it’s simple. I’m single because I choose to be...and I’m attracted to emotionally unavailable men. Beginning in 2011, I’m starting a study. Instead of declining, avoiding, or ignoring men, I’m going on as many dates as possible. This blog will chronicle those experiences and then some. Follow me on Twitter www.twitter.com/SerialCasDater
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